Examples of good writing by First and Second Year pupils.
THE PLACE I KNOW BEST
by Amy K
The place I know best is Corallia Beach in Cyprus. Corallia Beach is a lively place where I can hear the waves crashing off the rocks and the speed boats whizzing by. When I am in the water, I feel the seaweed tangling around my legs like slimy fingers stroking them.
The noises that surround me are laughter and happiness. The atmosphere is relayed yet full of excitement. I can hear the giggles of the children racing the waves on the shore. They are running backwards and forwards and laughing as the last breath of the sea laps at their ankles.
The jet skis buzz as they skim the water in the distance, as the screeching seagulls circle above making invisible spirals in the sky.
The saltiness of the sea engulfs my senses as it fills my mouth and nostrils.
Corallia Beach means a lot to me because it is the first beach I have ever been to and it will always hold some of my happiest memories.
Pupils in First Year were asked to write about their first impressions of life at Annan Academy. Here are some extracts from their accounts of their first few weeks here.
My First Impressions of Annan Academy
The first day at Annan Academy I got up feeling tired and nervous. I had my breakfast, had a shower and then I put my Annan Academy clothes on for the first time. When I was waiting for the bus I was talking to my friends at the bus stop about what the lessons would be like, what the teachers would be like and what the other people would be like. When I got there the school wasn’t as big as I thought.
I enjoy P.E. because I love sport and it’s better than being in a class sitting down. I like Science because when we do experiments it is exciting and interesting. I like H.E. because I like cooking and eating.
I have lots of friends and when I make new friends I feel more confident and happier. I have joined the after-school football and when I join something I don’t feel left out.
On day one I felt really excited but really nervous rolled into one. When I met my teachers I felt less nervous, as if a huge weight had been lifted off my back. I was a little worried about getting lost but it really is quite a simple layout.
My favourite subject has always been music and it still is. We have done a block on the xylophone and now we’re doing drumming. I used to hate P.E. but now I think it’s really good. In P.E. we’re doing dance. We get to dance to cool music. We did hockey too, that was fun. The other subjects are good too. I don’t have a least favourite because they’re new and interesting.
I have made a lot of new friends which helps because you don’t feel left out or not involved. I joined Hockey Club which is good because you make friends who share an interest with you.
When I first got off the bus I felt nervous for the first time but now I feel fine and happy. Some of my favourite subjects are Art because it is fun, History because I enjoy it and R.E. and H.E. because we did not have them in Primary and they are really good.
I have made lots of new friends who are really funny and kind. Some new clubs I have joined are the Strings Group and I am thinking of joining the band. Some of my new friends are in these clubs so if I am in the clubs I get to see my new friends for longer.
The clubs at Annan Academy are quite good. There are lots to choose from! So far I’ve joined the Strings Club because I play the violin. There are other clubs that look really good and lots of people join the Hockey Club. So far I have made lots of new friends but I’m still best friends with my friend from Primary school.
The V Festival was a brilliant show for a young audience who like music. I personally loved the show and all the singers who performed at the festival. It was a great day for the festival as well. I liked the presenters and the music.
I think the storylines are great. The Simpsons is a great programme for all ages and is good fun.
The episode I watched was about Homer Simpson doing embarrassing things to get extra money from Mr Burns…It was filled with jokes and made me and my dad laugh the whole way through.
Harry Enfield and Chums
I thought this was a great series with incredible wit, humour and intelligence. Although there are one or two parts that some people wouldn’t like, I think it is suitable for all teenagers and adults. So many programmes, especially comedies, stop being funny or no longer make sense and have lost their relevance after a certain number of years. However, Harry Enfield and Chums seems to be immune to this ages old curse for it is just as funny, if not more so, than ever before and really adds some zing to proper family TV!
In Top Gear there are always competitions and in this episode, Jeremy is against James and Hammond racing to Monte Carlo. They all start in Guilford, but Jeremy is racing them in the new Aston Martin DB9. On the other hand, Hammond and James are racing in the Eurostar train… During the challenge, Jeremy gets very cocky and sarcastic on the phone to his co-presenters. This is Jeremy’s way of being funny. He also uses a lot of similes like: ‘this car sounds like a demented woodpecker’.
The Young Ones
Although this show only ran for about two years it still has a huge following today. It is what I would call a classic as it is every bit as funny today as it was then…This is a show I can watch over and over again and each time I watch I find something in it which makes me laugh. Most of the actors went on to do shows of their own after this and are still working today. With everything that is happening in the world today it is nice to sit back, relax and have a good laugh and not take it too seriously. That is why I like to watch programmes like this.
I would recommend watching Friends as it could brighten up the most miserable of days.
Born Survivor – Bear Grylls Sahara
Born Survivor follows the British mountaineer and adventurer, Bear Grylls, into one of the world’s most inhospitable places, the Sahara Desert. Bear shows you the skills you needed to survive as he tries to find his way back to civilisation. The Sahara Desert is huge and could cook you and kill you if you don’t know what you’re doing…I loved this programme; it was really good. It was made by Discovery Channel and is on every Saturday night. I would recommend this programme to other people. I am amazed by Bear Grylls’ bravery. (For more information check out: http://www.beargrylls.com/)
After the success of Pop Idol, which finished in 2003, ITV introduced a brand new talent show called X Factor. This has become even more successful than Pop Idol as it is still going on today… On Saturday 22nd August, the first X Factor of 2009 began…for the first time the auditions were held in front of a live audience instead of just the judges. I believe this would put extra pressure on the contestants and would make them even more nervous… I am sure there will be some great contestants going through as the show progresses and I look forward to watching it all.
I think X Factor is a good show for talent, humour and entertainment.
…it is great and fun to watch but most people I know hate Big Brother. It is funny because some of them make fun of other housemates and do weird things. The only thing I don’t like about it is that some nights I can’t watch it because it’s on too late. I would like either Rodrigo or Siavash to win.
On Thin Ice
On Thin Ice was a documentary on BBC 2 shown on Sunday evenings from 9 – 10pm. It was about teams from around the world racing across the Antarctic to the South Pole…Overall I thought the series was excellent due to many factors:
- The camera work was great considering the conditions that the crew faced.
- The social issues faced by the team were extremely well handled and focused upon i.e. Ben and James’ illnesses, James’ arrogant attitude.
- Ed’s difficulty in coping with some situations.
The whole adventure inspired me. It made me realise that with determination you can overcome problems and situations that come your way.
TASK: Imagine you are walking down Diagon Alley. Describe the unusual things you see and hear.
- Write in 1st person.
- Describe people as well as objects.
- Use a wide vocabulary.
- Use punctuation correctly.
Damp, moss-covered bricks grinded apart before me. A soft, brown cloud of dust encircled my head, and clung to the back of my throat, leading to the inevitable cough and splutter. My eyes were clamped shut, a reflex from the dust, but as I opened them, shock, surprise and amazement, all rolled into one, ran through me. I was surrounded by towering, looming buildings, probably constructed centuries before. I stumbled over the cobbled paving, bumping into several unhappy-looking people. It was when I stared at them that I realised how much I stood out – my jeans and jumper seemed scruffy compared to their flowing, rich velvet robes.
Hayley W. (S1)
As part of Successmaker last session pupils were given the opportunity to use Writer’s Workshop.
Below you will find extracts from the wide range of writing pieces produced by S2 pupils.
The Day the Earth Ended
There were two thirteen-year-olds named Jacob and Ryan.
They were in the park one day playing on the swings when Jacob’s mobile phone rang.
He answered it. “Hello?”
“Hello,” said the mysterious stranger.
“Who is this?” said Jacob.
“I know who you are,” said the mysterious stranger. “I know who all of you are. My name is Scott. Listen carefully. There is a nuclear power plant in Irvington that is going to blow up. You and Ryan have to get there in time! You have exactly 1 hour before detonation.” The line went dead.
Jacob hung up and said to Ryan, “There is a bomb about to blow. Do you want to help?”
Ryan looked confused, but answered, “Yes, let’s go.”
They had to get to Irvington in 1 hour. How? They had no transport.
They stopped a car in the middle of the road, hauling the driver out of his seat. The driver shouted at them while they were leaving with his car.
Half an hour later they arrived in Irvington with only 30 minutes to detonation. They drove around town, panicking, for 20 minutes trying to find the power plant. Eventually they found it with only ten minutes to spare!
They ran inside. For five minutes they hunted frantically for the bomb. 5 minutes to detonation! They found the bomb strapped to a tank full of nuclear waste. Two wires led into the bomb. A brown wire, and a blue wire.
Ryan suddenly became excited. “I know what to do!” he exclaimed to Jacob. “The brown wire is the live wire. If we cut this then we should be safe.”
They cut the brown wire.
By Ryan J.
Camping in your back garden
Have you ever wanted to go camping but there’s no campsite near your house? Well, when you have finished reading this you won’t have to go anywhere but your back garden this summer! If you have a patch of grass in your back garden that’s big enough to hold a small tent then that’s all you need! If you have a tent, put it up with enough space to put picnic blankets and some folding chairs. Then fill the tent with the necessities for sleeping and you’re all set! These are some of the things you can do when you are outside in your back garden:
- Tell Ghost stories
- Play truth or dare
- Play hide and seek in the dark
- If you have a trampoline, then go on it when everybody is sleeping in the dark.
- Have a picnic under the stars – set out some picnic blankets and folding chairs
Here are some top tips for you when you’re in your tent:
- Even though its summer time it can still get pretty cold, so wrap up warm and make sure you have plenty of blankets and sleeping bags! You should really have a pair of fluffy pjs on, a fleece, some fluffy slippers, some fluffy socks and hat, scarf and gloves.
- If it gets too cold, even when you’re wrapped up, ask your mum to leave the door open and the light on so you can go back inside! You have to lock it after though.
- Keep your bug fabric down because you don’t want to wake up with 20 midge bites on your face!
- Keep a torch with you incase someone needs the toilet when you’re in the tent!
- Keep quiet when it gets darker because your neighbours will probably be sleeping by the time you are running about playing truth or dare.
This summer you don’t have to go to some caravan park to camp, you can just do it in your back garden!
By Mhairi M.
How to Wash a Cat
Capture your cat (using a fishing net or large blanket).
Fill the bath with water (keep cat in a cage covered with the blanket).
Next, tempt your cat out of the cage with cat biscuits.
Once the cat is out of the cage catch it and throw it in the bath.
The cat will obviously try to jump out so why don’t you jump in too and keep it company in the bath.
Try to put soap/shampoo all over the cat so it smells goood.
After you have rinsed your cat of bubbles, use a net to fish it out of the bath tub. (After doing this put a lead on your cat and tie it to something, preferably not the ceiling.)
Find a hairdryer and blow dry your cat.
Your cat will smell and look very nice now.
Leave your cat in the bathroom until it has stopped growling, and then let it out. (You should probably get out of the house for a good 4 hours).
By Georgia B.
How to give your cat a bath!
- Firstly put your cat in the bath and lock the door.
- Next plug in a shower cap and put on the warm water tap.
- Then wet your cat (even though it won’t like it!) and then cover him/her with some pet shampoo and conditioner.
- Wash all the shampoo off and switch off the taps.
- Dry your cat and let it go.
WARNING: Your cat may not like the water, so watch out for its claws and sharp teeth!
How to make Oatmeal Cookies!
Ingredients: Oatmeal 500g, 2 eggs, milk, butter, flour and Golden syrup.
- Measure out 500g of oatmeal.
- Sieve the flour and mix in with the oatmeal.
- Beat the eggs and milk together and add to the mix of oatmeal, and flour and mix well.
- Rub the butter into the mix, and add 2 tablespoons of golden syrup.
- Next cook them for 10-15 minutes at 180°C.
- Leave to cool for 5 minutes.
Summer Camp Fun
Nothing to do in the summer? Left alone with your parents? Well summer camp can help you sort your problems out.
Go away from home for a week up to the whole summer holiday and relax. No parents there to nag you and friends can come as well. With different rooms to choose from such as single beds, bunk beds or even camping it’s fun every night!
If you are energetic you can play sports or go on a tourist walk in the woods. Lie-ins every day if you need that extra time after partying. If you would rather have a walk feel free to take a stroll around the gardens and the 3 amazing wildlife forests.
New and fun experiences for all ages. Whatever your style and whatever you want to do come and have fun at summer camp. No rules at all; you make your own and you are in charge of yourself, no one else is.
Extra large meals and if you can’t be bothered to come down stairs you can have breakfast in bed. If you have special dietary targets or medications please fill it out on the form.
If you want to know what summer camp is like come and you will see what all the fun is about.
Parents can stay at home and relax knowing their children are safe and having fun. They can have peace and quiet and do what ever they want to do while the children are away.
If you are missing your parents and want to go home and haven’t finished the whole time you paid for you will get your money for the days that you weren’t at summer camp.
The entry fee is £15.00 for 3 days and for the whole 6 weeks of the summer get a special offer this year of only £100.00.
Find us at Pleasant View, Hallies, America and, yes, it is in the countryside. You must be 10 – 16 years to come.
Come have fun because that is what summer camp is all about and remember you need a break sometime from your parents and we always have spaces.
By Emily P.
The Broken Vase
It was a Saturday morning in the summer holiday and Kyle was on the computer when he got a phone call from Craig asking if he wanted to go to the field to play football. Kyle agreed, and asked him to come round for him.
Ten minutes later Craig was at the door with a football. As Kyle walked out of the house it started raining, so they came back inside and played on the Xbox
Whilst playing on the Xbox Craig got the ball and kicked it to Kyle, so Kyle got up and passed it back. They started to play all about the house with the ball. When they got into the living room, Kyle tackled Craig and booted the ball at him. Unfortunately for Kyle the ball went flying and hit the vase on the fireplace. It fell to the ground and smashed.
Ten minutes later Kyle’s mum came in and saw the vase on the ground and she shouted, “What have you done? Get to your room and don’t come back through!”
As Kyle sat in his bedroom he thought about why the vase was so important to his mum. He remembered that her granny had given it to her before she passed away last year. Later on in the day he went down stairs and apologized to his mum. He got the vase and went to the shop to get it fixed.
The Wondrous Wood
by P. Kean
The day started like any other. Danny took his dog Buttons out for a walk.
As he walked out of the door his mother shouted to him, “Don’t even think about going to Elberry Wood. You know how dangerous it can be.”
She called after him, but Danny didn’t hear as he was already out the front door. That was the biggest mistake of his life.
The young teenager briskly walked out of his garden to his doom. He let the brown and white spaniel off its lead and the dog ran off.
“Buttons! Buttons come back here right now!” Danny exclaimed, as the dog ran into Elberry Wood. He sprinted after his canine friend.
Red faced and sweaty, Danny found Buttons sniffing at a lone tree; he pounced on him and attached his red lead.
“Come on Buttons, let’s go home,” he said smiling at the brown and white creature. Danny turned around but saw nothing of his house just trees after trees after trees. “I think we’re lost Buttons, very lost!” he sighed. The dog let out a long whine, as tears trickled down Danny’s face.
He looked up at the trees surrounding them. They seemed to be changing colour, deep browns and reds to dark greens and yellows. Danny’s mouth dropped, his eyes became wide and very round. Even Buttons was amazed at the phenomenon. Rabbits came out of burrows hopping around until they formed a circle around the twosome. Then the bunnies started bending their knees and sidestepping. Around the rabbits’ feet sparkling dust arose, and was blown towards Danny and his dog by a gentle wind. Danny, suddenly feeling really dizzy, slumped onto the grass. Buttons started to stagger around, as if he were drunk. The dog stumbled around until he collapsed on Danny’s legs in a deep sleep. Seconds later Danny’s eyes closed, and he let out a soft snore.
Danny woke up and got a fright. He had no idea where he was. He looked up and saw twisting tree bark and branches making some sort of a roof. Leaves were decorated around the roof. It all looked like some sort of fairytale.